Nature

You know global warming is occurring, but why don’t you take any action against it? You’re primarily concerned for yourself. You raise money for the poor and may even feel just a little sad for the starving children in third world countries. However, you feel much less sympathy for the plants and animals that are dying from your actions. After all, what is going extinct anyway? Probably just about a few hundred species of insects. You clearly don’t think anyone is going to miss those insects; you think they’re just pests. You do realize that the disappearance of these insects could have more severe repercussions, like causing birds and lizards to lose sources of food and become extinct. You don’t interact with these animals, so you don’t care about them. Is the environment really your problem? You do recall that the U.S. and other developed countries have apparently been taking action to reduce their levels of pollution in the environment. The poor, developing countries have more unsustainable agricultural practices. Those people should be at fault. Not you.

The primary reason you are indifferent towards the well-being of the environment is that you simply are so disconnected from nature. You have sought to isolate yourself from nature since the beginning of history: you have abandoned hunting and gathering, preferring to build shelters and civilizations to protect yourself. You have even developed advanced agricultural techniques and fertilizers to coax the earth to do your bidding. You only water the earth in order to increase your crop yields. You have no genuine concern for the environment. You wish to control the environment rather than coexist with it.

Even today, you use your phones and technology incessantly, almost never going outside. When you do step outside, your only thought is to go back inside into another building. The outdoors are never your main focus; they are just a path you travel to get to another destination. Even on the rare occasions that you go outside, you play football on artificial turf or tennis on concrete. You step on worms and ants without a thought. You simply “don’t believe in Nature anymore.” And it seems very likely that, regardless of what anyone says or does, you never will believe in Nature.

Wise Words from a Professional Athlete

Hi everyone! I’m richer than all of you. I’m richer than teachers, engineers, doctors, lawyers, just about everybody. How is that possible? I am a professional athlete! Back in high school, I remember how so many students complained incessantly about grades and extracurricular activities. Those students thought getting into the Ivy League colleges was hard. Well, I can tell you that nothing is harder than being a professional athlete. I had to work unbelievably hard to become a professional. Well, I take that back. I’m only a professional athlete because I’m tall and strong, traits that I was lucky to inherit. In fact, I haven’t worked or exerted myself in my entire life. All I do is play a game that children play.

I must say, I’m so lucky to be a professional athlete. While high school students are mostly tested individually, I’m evaluated based on my team’s performance. High school students have to stand out from their classmates in order to be accepted into a selective college, but I just need to make sure I don’t stand out. If my team’s winning, that’s great: no one will criticize me or any of my teammates. However, if the team’s playing poorly, I won’t be in trouble as long as I don’t stand out as one of the culprits.

I’m sure all of you are jealous that I get paid so much for playing a children’s game. I even get paid more than doctors who change lives. But I also change lives. One time, I actually pushed this guy and he broke all his bones, out for the rest of the season. I make millions for being a professional athlete and splurge on random things that catch my interest. I have this huge mansion with expansive pools. Honestly, I haven’t set foot in half of the rooms; they’re just there to make me look richer and more successful. I suppose I could let the poor and the homeless live in those rooms, but living with the poor would damage my esteemed image.

I know the real reason I’m a professional athlete is that I am genetically blessed; I haven’t really worked a day in my life. But what’s wrong with just being purely talented? Hard work is so overrated and time-consuming. So many people complain about their long, arduous hours in their jobs, but they brought the pain on themselves, as they simply were not genetically blessed to be an athlete like me. I cannot fathom how the general public has “managed to exist so long under the burdens which they have imposed on themselves.” I, on the other hand, have no burdens, haven’t worked hard, or done anything of value to society. I guess I just have the perfect life!